White Sox Fans' Silver Lining

Dear Chicago White Sox Fans,
The nightmare many of you feared and most never dreamed possible has finally come to roost as the Cubs won their first World Series since the release of the Ford Model T.  No question difficult times lie ahead as you are forced to endure the speech-making, proselytizing, and gloating of the die-hard faithful, each of whom believe they played no small role in the franchise's historic rise to glory.

To add insult to injury, baseball gurus are predicting this team could become a dynasty with the potential to make multiple runs at the Series during the next four or five seasons, thus salting your wounds and prolonging your agony.

Let me explain why this is a good thing...

With their continued success, demand for tickets will leave the Ricketts family no choice but to move the team out of that archaic sandlot they call the "friendly confines" to a modern venue with a relevant seating capacity, thus wreaking economic devastation upon Wrigleyville and putting a swift end to the 24-7-365 frat party perpetuated by those smug, self-important locals who treat the neighborhood like their own personal theme park and the Cubs organization like a beloved pet.

It may be small consolation, but to paraphrase Carl Spackler, at least you've got that going for you, which is nice.