Illinois (Dis)Loyalty

Amidst the clumsy handling of Tim Beckman's long overdue entry into the annals of Illinois football mediocrity, the University of Illinois finds itself embroiled in yet another scandal serving to tarnish the reputation of my once proud Alma Mater.

With this in mind, I am sponsoring a contest to re-write Illinois Loyalty to more befit the University's current laughing stock stature.  The top three entries (selected by me) will receive one of my old U of I T-shits, size large, that I am now too ashamed to wear.  Submit by using the contact form at www.workingwordsproductions.com.

My attempt is below:


We’re embarrassed for you, Illinois

You haven’t a clue, Illinois.

You’ve tested our pride,

The alumni will hide,

We’ve abandoned your side, Illinois.

Ha, ha.

So pack up your ball, Illinois

Prepare for a fall, Illinois

Our spirit is broke

Your reputation’s a joke

We can’t stop laughing at you, Illinois

Hee-hee, hee-ha, hee-ha-ha-ha.

Oh, Illini, oh!

Hee-hee, hee-ha, hee-ha-ha-ha.

Oh, Illini, oh!

Illinois, Illinois, Illinois

Throw out that spirit wear of

Orange and Blue

Have all your sons and daughters

Enroll at Purdue

Wave goodbye to tradition

Enter sedition, won’t pay your tuition

 

Ouchy-ow-ow!

 

Amid the scandals yearly

Rocking our land

For graft and exploitation

You proudly stand

Our loyalty has sadly reached an end

Dear Alma Mater, Illinois