New York - In a shocking revelation, the New York Times reports that beleaguered Libyan strongman, Moammar Gadhafi, is not only living comfortably in the US, but served as 55th governor of New York from 2008 to 2010.
In addition to charges of obstruction of justice, illegally acquiring World Series tickets, and his alleged involvement in a sex scandal, it would seem that former New York Governor David Paterson was not at all who he claimed to be.
“It’s really quite embarrassing,” said Josh Vlasto, current New York Governor Andrew M. Cuomo’s spokesperson. “We all noticed the similarities, but never guessed the former governor was actually a maniacal Libyan despot.”
Apparently, Paterson’s (aka Gadhafi’s) publicized indiscretions were only the tip of the iceberg.
Subsequent to release of the New York Times story, TMZ has discovered that Gadhafi has enjoyed a decadent, playboy lifestyle since arriving in the US.
With Libya’s vast oil wealth at his disposal, Gadhafi reportedly purchased a sprawling, multimillion dollar estate in the Hamptons next door to infamous radio host Howard Stern. Replete with a harem of high priced NY call girls, a stable of fancy cars, and all the Miller High Life he cared to drink, Gadhafi is said to have held week-long parties that make Charlie Sheen look like a Boy Scout.
FBI Director Robert Mueller, now better understands the absence of typical stress indicators during their analysis of Gadhafi’s recent taped addresses as commander-in-chief of his armed forces.
“Of course he was relaxed,” Mueller quipped. “I’d be relaxed too if I was over 4,000 miles from the battlefront.”
The puzzle began to take shape after rebel forces captured Gadhafi’s palace compound in Tripoli, and were surprised to find it empty. The rebel leader was informed by a palace servant that that Gadhafi hadn’t been there in years, having left Libya for the US over half a decade prior.
The non-profit State Government Affairs Council indicated this is first time a non-US citizen has held a high elected office.
“The New York governor’s office is shocked and disheartened that this somehow slipped through the cracks,” said Vlasto. “We hope it won’t happen again.”
Cuomo himself was outraged. “It’s simply wrong that security screenings at LaGuardia should be more rigorous than the vetting of candidates running for election to the highest office in the state. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been cavity searched before a twenty minute flight to DC, yet here’s this ruthless dictator living like a king right under our highly prominent noses.”
Prior to being detained by the FBI, Gadhafi was spotted at a popular NY night club with a beautiful woman on each arm, and earlier at a taping of the David Letterman Show.
Upon his arrest outside a Sag Harbor Starbucks, Gadhafi became enraged, shouting, “My bitches! I must get back to my bitches!”
Gadhafi will be deported and remanded into the custody of the provisional Libyan government to await trial for crimes against the Libyan people. His fate, as well as that of his “bitches,” remains unclear.
“It’s really quite embarrassing,” said Josh Vlasto, current New York Governor Andrew M. Cuomo’s spokesperson. “We all noticed the similarities, but never guessed the former governor was actually a maniacal Libyan despot.”
Apparently, Paterson’s (aka Gadhafi’s) publicized indiscretions were only the tip of the iceberg.
Subsequent to release of the New York Times story, TMZ has discovered that Gadhafi has enjoyed a decadent, playboy lifestyle since arriving in the US.
With Libya’s vast oil wealth at his disposal, Gadhafi reportedly purchased a sprawling, multimillion dollar estate in the Hamptons next door to infamous radio host Howard Stern. Replete with a harem of high priced NY call girls, a stable of fancy cars, and all the Miller High Life he cared to drink, Gadhafi is said to have held week-long parties that make Charlie Sheen look like a Boy Scout.
FBI Director Robert Mueller, now better understands the absence of typical stress indicators during their analysis of Gadhafi’s recent taped addresses as commander-in-chief of his armed forces.
“Of course he was relaxed,” Mueller quipped. “I’d be relaxed too if I was over 4,000 miles from the battlefront.”
The puzzle began to take shape after rebel forces captured Gadhafi’s palace compound in Tripoli, and were surprised to find it empty. The rebel leader was informed by a palace servant that that Gadhafi hadn’t been there in years, having left Libya for the US over half a decade prior.
The non-profit State Government Affairs Council indicated this is first time a non-US citizen has held a high elected office.
“The New York governor’s office is shocked and disheartened that this somehow slipped through the cracks,” said Vlasto. “We hope it won’t happen again.”
Cuomo himself was outraged. “It’s simply wrong that security screenings at LaGuardia should be more rigorous than the vetting of candidates running for election to the highest office in the state. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been cavity searched before a twenty minute flight to DC, yet here’s this ruthless dictator living like a king right under our highly prominent noses.”
Prior to being detained by the FBI, Gadhafi was spotted at a popular NY night club with a beautiful woman on each arm, and earlier at a taping of the David Letterman Show.
Upon his arrest outside a Sag Harbor Starbucks, Gadhafi became enraged, shouting, “My bitches! I must get back to my bitches!”
Gadhafi will be deported and remanded into the custody of the provisional Libyan government to await trial for crimes against the Libyan people. His fate, as well as that of his “bitches,” remains unclear.
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