As Andy Williams reminds us, it is once again “…the most wonderful time of the year.” Of course, Andy is referring to football season. It is also that magical time of year when the thoughts and hopes of all young children turn to toys, presents, and that long awaited visit by a jolly old elf in a soot-tarnished red suit – except in the Layne household, that is, where ghouls, witches, vampires, and mummies cast an orange-and-black shadow over this otherwise festive, red-and-green season.
It would seem around here that the penultimate annual commemoration of our savior’s birth has taken a back seat to the ancient druid celebration of the harvest. Amanda and Ally begin discussing their Halloween costumes on November 1st, changing their minds 364 times up until the afternoon of October 31st, at which point they give up and go as whatever they were the previous year. This year, Ally was pink Jasmine (as opposed to last year’s green version), and Amanda went as Myanmar. Barely ten minutes after trick-or-treating ended, plans were set into motion for the following year. As of this writing, Ally wants to be purple Jasmine, and Amanda, petulance.
Amanda is a tall-and-spindly, creative, high maintenance creature who is drawn to the arts and depends upon her parents to keep her alive by reminding her to eat, sleep, and breathe. Ally, on the other hand, is a tough, self-sustaining sort who takes guff from no one and can forage for a full day’s nutrition right in her own nose. Having given up all attempts to tame Ally’s fearsome temper, K & M have instead elected to put her pugilistic tendencies to constructive use by enrolling her in the kick-boxing program at the local YMCA. Known as “Ally-Kazam” and her sidekick “Blankie,” she strikes fear into the hearts of the other Medinah Park District preschoolers.
This past spring, the Layne troupe made their first pilgrimage to Orlando to visit Disney’s Wonderful World of Licensed Merchandise. Karen was ecstatic, having been inculcated into the Disney cult as a child. Amanda and Ally were excited about seeing their friends, Courtney and Stephanie, who came down from New Jersey following Bon Jovi on the southern leg of their 2007 tour. Mark was the only one not necessarily looking forward to the trip, owing to his pronounced distaste for crowds, hot weather, children, and fun of any sort. Thanks in large part to the hospitality of the Elliots – cousins Brad and Sheryl in particular – he managed to have a delightful time, except for the four days he spent in bed with 104 degree fever.
As everyone knows, Disney is all about getting kids to watch television. As such, Ally nearly fainted from the thrill of meeting her idols Jasmine and Aladdin. Amanda spent the week searching each theme park for Zack, Cody, Hannah, and the brothers Jonas, who Karen and Mark assume must be characters in some new Disney western. In the end, all the expense and hassle of travel was worth it in that to this day, whenever the subject of Disney World is mentioned, Amanda and Ally’s eyes light up and their rosy cheeks crease with smiles as they recall the glorious times they had at the hotel pool.
During summer, Illinois got a taste of life in a hurricane prone state when the most severe thunderstorms in history swept through the Chicago area, uprooting trees, flooding basements, and knocking out power to over half a million people, causing local ratings of Deal or No Deal to plummet. Karen and Mark discovered that living for three days without electricity and water is a lot like camping in a really expensive tent. It was a terrific learning experience for the kids, however, who got a taste of what life was like for the early pioneers by cooking over an open fire, reading by lamplight, making potty in a bucket and tossing it out the window, trapping beavers, etc.
For Thanksgiving, the gang made the trek down to drought-plagued Atlanta to visit Leslie, Anthony, and Jayson, and to celebrate Amanda’s eighth birthday. As it turns out, showering without water isn’t half as bad as it sounds. The kids had a blast rolling around on the bottom of the empty hotel pool and playing at the local Jump Zone (until Ally bloodied the nose of an eleven-year-old boy because she didn’t like how he was looking at her sister).
Sadly, the days of the annual X-mas letter may be numbered. As it happens, kids don’t enjoy their parents making fun of them. Who knew? K&M aren’t too worried about Amanda who has a relatively evolved sense of humor – even though after reading last year’s installation she demanded stuffed animals as compensation for being libeled and abused for the past seven years. It’s Allyson who will have her parents watching their backs.
In closing, never has the underlying melancholy of the Christmas season been captured more aptly than in “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” one of many idiomatic masterpieces by author Charles M. Schultz, who also once said, “I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.”
Merry Christmas to All, and to All Good Grief,
Karen, Mark, Amanda, and Ally
It would seem around here that the penultimate annual commemoration of our savior’s birth has taken a back seat to the ancient druid celebration of the harvest. Amanda and Ally begin discussing their Halloween costumes on November 1st, changing their minds 364 times up until the afternoon of October 31st, at which point they give up and go as whatever they were the previous year. This year, Ally was pink Jasmine (as opposed to last year’s green version), and Amanda went as Myanmar. Barely ten minutes after trick-or-treating ended, plans were set into motion for the following year. As of this writing, Ally wants to be purple Jasmine, and Amanda, petulance.
Amanda is a tall-and-spindly, creative, high maintenance creature who is drawn to the arts and depends upon her parents to keep her alive by reminding her to eat, sleep, and breathe. Ally, on the other hand, is a tough, self-sustaining sort who takes guff from no one and can forage for a full day’s nutrition right in her own nose. Having given up all attempts to tame Ally’s fearsome temper, K & M have instead elected to put her pugilistic tendencies to constructive use by enrolling her in the kick-boxing program at the local YMCA. Known as “Ally-Kazam” and her sidekick “Blankie,” she strikes fear into the hearts of the other Medinah Park District preschoolers.
This past spring, the Layne troupe made their first pilgrimage to Orlando to visit Disney’s Wonderful World of Licensed Merchandise. Karen was ecstatic, having been inculcated into the Disney cult as a child. Amanda and Ally were excited about seeing their friends, Courtney and Stephanie, who came down from New Jersey following Bon Jovi on the southern leg of their 2007 tour. Mark was the only one not necessarily looking forward to the trip, owing to his pronounced distaste for crowds, hot weather, children, and fun of any sort. Thanks in large part to the hospitality of the Elliots – cousins Brad and Sheryl in particular – he managed to have a delightful time, except for the four days he spent in bed with 104 degree fever.
As everyone knows, Disney is all about getting kids to watch television. As such, Ally nearly fainted from the thrill of meeting her idols Jasmine and Aladdin. Amanda spent the week searching each theme park for Zack, Cody, Hannah, and the brothers Jonas, who Karen and Mark assume must be characters in some new Disney western. In the end, all the expense and hassle of travel was worth it in that to this day, whenever the subject of Disney World is mentioned, Amanda and Ally’s eyes light up and their rosy cheeks crease with smiles as they recall the glorious times they had at the hotel pool.
During summer, Illinois got a taste of life in a hurricane prone state when the most severe thunderstorms in history swept through the Chicago area, uprooting trees, flooding basements, and knocking out power to over half a million people, causing local ratings of Deal or No Deal to plummet. Karen and Mark discovered that living for three days without electricity and water is a lot like camping in a really expensive tent. It was a terrific learning experience for the kids, however, who got a taste of what life was like for the early pioneers by cooking over an open fire, reading by lamplight, making potty in a bucket and tossing it out the window, trapping beavers, etc.
For Thanksgiving, the gang made the trek down to drought-plagued Atlanta to visit Leslie, Anthony, and Jayson, and to celebrate Amanda’s eighth birthday. As it turns out, showering without water isn’t half as bad as it sounds. The kids had a blast rolling around on the bottom of the empty hotel pool and playing at the local Jump Zone (until Ally bloodied the nose of an eleven-year-old boy because she didn’t like how he was looking at her sister).
Sadly, the days of the annual X-mas letter may be numbered. As it happens, kids don’t enjoy their parents making fun of them. Who knew? K&M aren’t too worried about Amanda who has a relatively evolved sense of humor – even though after reading last year’s installation she demanded stuffed animals as compensation for being libeled and abused for the past seven years. It’s Allyson who will have her parents watching their backs.
In closing, never has the underlying melancholy of the Christmas season been captured more aptly than in “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” one of many idiomatic masterpieces by author Charles M. Schultz, who also once said, “I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.”
Merry Christmas to All, and to All Good Grief,
Karen, Mark, Amanda, and Ally
No comments:
Post a Comment