Amidst the clumsy handling of Tim Beckman's long overdue entry into the annals of Illinois football mediocrity, the University of Illinois finds itself embroiled in yet another scandal serving to tarnish the reputation of my once proud Alma Mater.
With this in mind, I am sponsoring a contest to re-write Illinois Loyalty to more befit the University's current laughing stock stature. The top three entries (selected by me) will receive one of my old U of I T-shits, size large, that I am now too ashamed to wear. Submit by using the contact form at www.workingwordsproductions.com.
My attempt is below:
We’re embarrassed for you, Illinois
Dear Alma Mater, Illinois
With this in mind, I am sponsoring a contest to re-write Illinois Loyalty to more befit the University's current laughing stock stature. The top three entries (selected by me) will receive one of my old U of I T-shits, size large, that I am now too ashamed to wear. Submit by using the contact form at www.workingwordsproductions.com.
My attempt is below:
We’re embarrassed for you, Illinois
You
haven’t a clue, Illinois.
You’ve
tested our pride,
The
alumni will hide,
We’ve
abandoned your side, Illinois.
Ha,
ha.
So pack up your ball,
Illinois
Prepare
for a fall, Illinois
Our
spirit is broke
Your
reputation’s a joke
We
can’t stop laughing at you, Illinois
Hee-hee, hee-ha, hee-ha-ha-ha.
Oh,
Illini, oh!
Hee-hee, hee-ha, hee-ha-ha-ha.
Oh,
Illini, oh!
Illinois,
Illinois, Illinois
Throw out that spirit
wear of
Orange
and Blue
Have
all your sons and daughters
Enroll
at Purdue
Wave goodbye to tradition
Enter
sedition, won’t pay your tuition
Ouchy-ow-ow!
Amid
the scandals yearly
Rocking
our land
For
graft and exploitation
You
proudly stand
Our
loyalty has sadly reached an end
Dear Alma Mater, Illinois
